Gender Blues: When You Were Hoping for a Girl but Found Out It’s a Boy (or Vice Versa)

Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get nearly enough attention: gender disappointment.

You imagined pink bows and tea parties… but the ultrasound showed a baby boy.

Or you had visions of father-son fishing trips and baseball games… but it turns out you’re having a girl.

And now, instead of feeling overjoyed, you’re feeling… disappointed.

And then the guilt sets in.

Let me stop you right there, mama. Gender disappointment is real, and it’s okay to feel this way. You are not a bad mom for having an emotional reaction to this news.

In fact, if you join our Facebook group, First Time Pregnancy Support for 2025 Babies and search for "gender disappointment," you’ll find a whole community of women who have gone through the exact same thing. And guess what? They processed it, worked through it, and eventually got excited about their baby’s gender.

You can too.

Why Gender Disappointment Happens

It’s not that you don’t love your baby. It’s that you had a vision, a dream, a mental picture of what life would look like with this child. And when reality didn’t match that vision, it threw you for an emotional loop.

Maybe you pictured a little girl because you have an amazing relationship with your mom, and you wanted that same bond.

Maybe you always wanted a boy because you were close to your brothers growing up.

Maybe you already have one gender and were hoping for the other to “complete” your family.

Maybe your family (or culture) placed strong expectations on a certain gender, and you feel like you’ve let them down.

Whatever the reason, your feelings are valid. And the good news is—you will work through them.

How to Process Gender Disappointment and Move Forward